Will we be with our loved ones in the Hereafter?
What if we make it to Heaven and they don’t?
By: A. Muhammad
It is normal for us to wish that in the next life we would be with those we loved during our worldly life, but what if we make to Heaven and they do not? The Quran states that the believers will be in Paradise together with “the righteous among their parents, their spouses and their children”:
[13:23] They (believers) enter the gardens of Eden, together with the righteous among their parents, their spouses and their children.
What about the disbelievers and idol worshippers among our families and our close ones? The Quran tells us that the dwellers of Paradise will see and speak to the dwellers of Hell (7:44 and 7:50). What would be the impact of seeing our non-believing mother, father or any other loved one being tortured in Hell in front of our eyes?
Surely, something as harrowing as that would cause any believer immense grief!
Yet, God tells us in the Quran that the believers will not have any grieve on the Day of Judgement?
[39:61] And God will save those who were reverent. Their reward is that no harm will touch them, nor will they grieve.
Have we just spotted a Quranic contradiction, or are we missing something? Naturally, there are no contradictions in the Quran. By reading the words in 23:101 (below) we realise that God in His infinite wisdom has devised the solution to this matter. God's solution dismisses any hint of contradiction:
[23:101] When the horn is blown, no family relations will exist between them on that day, nor will they ask about one another.
These glorious words tell us that once the horn is blown, ushering in the Day of Judgement, all family relations which formed bonds between people on earth will be dissolved and will not mean what they meant during our earthly life.
On that Day, we will realise that all family relations we had on earth were no more than temporary arrangements designed by God to serve a specific purpose during our life on earth, the reason being the continuation of the human race. In contrast, in the Hereafter there will be no breeding, no births and no deaths and no mother needing to nurse and protect her young, thus there will be no blood relations. These bonds will be dissolved to the extent that those once bonded closely on earth through blood relations will not even "ask about one another" on the Day of Judgement.
In stead, on Judgement Day we will realise that our true family and true brothers are the other believers and not necessarily our blood relations on earth.
[49:10] The believers are but brothers; so you shall reconcile between your brothers and revere God so that you may attain mercy.
This merciful act from God explains why the believers will not grieve on that Day.
One may wonder: How could we once have such strong feelings for someone, then, after we die none of these feelings will exist any longer?
The simple answer is that God who created the ties and bonds that unite people is also able to terminate these bonds and all feelings that come with them.
A good demonstration of this matter is something that can be witnessed vividly in the animal kingdom. As we know, the mother instinct is the strongest bond that exists in the animal kingdom. A female animal will risk her life to defend her young.
The mother instinct is instilled by God in the female animals for the specific purpose of giving the newly born the protection and sustenance they need till they are independent and not need to rely on their mother.
What happens after that is truly amazing and goes a long way to demonstrate how God is able to wipe a feeling or a bond that was so strong simply because the purpose of this bond ceases to exist.
Let us consider the example of a female animal, let us say a leopard or an antelope or any other animal. When the young have grown up and become totally independent they leave their mother. Equally, the mother instinct which was once so strong in the mother is removed and these animals do not have any further bond between them. In actual fact, we see animals who were once bonded through mother instinct end up fighting ferociously and even killing one another as they contest prey and territory.
What this demonstrates is that such feelings, even as strong as the mother instinct, are only temporary and are only instilled by God to serve a specific purpose on earth. Once the purpose expires, they are removed by God.
It is not any different in the case of humans. The mother instinct and all forms of love are designed by God for the purpose of the continuation of the human race and the amicable relations between humans. Once we leave this life on earth, no mother needs to protect her young and no male/female love need to exist to form families and raise the newly born.
What all this means is that it is meaningless to place much importance on being with our family members in the Hereafter, for in the Hereafter, our family relations will not be viewed in the same way we think of them during our life on earth. Such feelings and bonds will be replaced by the bond with those who share the love of God, for they are, and always were, our true brothers and sisters even though we may have been unaware of it.
In this light, it would be accurate to say that the joy we may get for being with the other believers among our family in the Hereafter (see 13:23 above) would not be because they were our mother or brother in the worldly life, but because they share with us the stronger bond; the love of God.
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